Day 1: The beginning of the Musts.

Day 2: Must meet with an image counselor.

Day 3: Must perfect self-esteem.

Day 4: Must shop for clothes.

Day 5: Must go to the salon for major pampering.

Day 6: Get a date.

Day 7: Get laid. Be loved.

I don’t really care if it’s too much of a whirlwind kind of phase. I’ve stayed on my comfort zone long enough. I have to get my ass moving or else, I would be that girl I’ve always seen on my dreams.

to be continued.

Until last night.

You see, most of my best girlfriends have married, some even remarried! I see them almost every weekend with those really handsome husbands (not that I really care), I mean, they look extremely happy.

And I could only imagine how it would feel like when it’s my turn to walk down the aisle with that special someone looking unbelivably fuckn gorgeous waiting for me at the end.

*Sigh*

Anyway, back to that NBSB thing.

So here’s the catch.

The only last person staying in the world of singlehood with me just announced that she got engaged last night…

To my long time crush!

I mean, I didn’t even had any idea that they were going out together! All those time I was lost in my secret agenda with Jake, fantasizing all I want since in my own little world of singlehood, he’s mine.

Now where does this leave me?

Honestly, I have no idea.

Last night, on Massie’s engagement party, after a few (i think) shots of tequilla, I had a brief encounter with my future self. I saw her  really old, working late nights for a novel, with nobody to accompany her but a big fat house cat, who by the way, spent most of the day sleeping.

I almost puked. Almost grabbed the nearest guy and asked him to marry me to save me from that “future”.

But I’m not that crazy, at least not yet. I’ve always seen my single hood as a clever decision. Right?

Or maybe not. Well, at this point, I don’t really know.

All I know is that I have to find that prince – that guy – I really don’t care if he’s a frog I have to kiss – or how many I have to kiss to get to the right one – whoever.

I just need to make this life a little bit less miserable.

To be continued…

***

I heard the door closed behind her. And I know that would be the last time she’d be using that door in her whole lifetime. She will never come back.

I looked at the woman sleeping beside me, even with a sexier lingerie, she looks nothing special compared to my wife. She would have looked ridiculously stupid standing next to my wife in pajamas.

I could still remember my wife’s shocked face when she saw this woman beside me when I entered our home last night. I could just imagine how she desperately tried not to listen while I made love to this woman all night.

It hurts me to hurt her this way but I know this is the only way.

Every day, she would try to become a perfect wife to me. She would replace the curtains every other day and I would not just understand why. She cooks the perfect dinner, she serves the best dessert. Sometimes, I wonder how it would taste to dine in a very fine diner, maybe I would end up commenting really bad on the food. Maybe I would tell the chef to learn lessons from my wife.

Every night she would model her sexy lingeries for me, and every night she would try to erase the hassles given to me by my work. She would take control.

Every time, she would try to be the one I’ve always wanted, the one I would never leave for another.

But after years of watching her try so hard, it made me sick. I wasn’t the one for her. I married her for what she could be, not for who she is. She saw me at just a fraction of who I really am. She saw only what she wanted to see, she was blinded by her love for me.

It makes me sick that I’m not the man who deserves what she does best, being herself.

I got up from the bed and went to the closet room, it was empty. No signs of her being here at all. The drawers which used to be full of her stuff were now barren, like brand new. Her scent runs all over the place though, and it seems just like yesterday when I surprised her with this walk-in closet, she was ecstatic, like a child. She jumped to me and kissed me many times in my whole face. She was perfect.

The emptiness of the room reminded me of my self. Empty, barren, worthless.

I closed the door behind me and walked to the kitchen. It was clean, just like before. The sink and the tables were all polished clean, never a trace of hardwork. In the table lies two plates for breakfast, neatly covered.

I have served my purpose, I’m out of her life. She would be better off without me, if only she saw that earlier. She wouldn’t have been hurt this badly.

I ate my share of the breakfast she prepared for ‘us’.

And remembered her smile, her perfect face, and everything about her…and thanked her silently for everything she’s done to me.

Someday, I will be a better man.

Suddenly I felt a stabbing pain on my stomach, like hundreds of soldiers banging my intestines, I looked at the breakfast she prepared for me for the very last time and everything became a blur.

I was happy, way beyond cloud nine when you asked me to become your wife. It was the happiest day of my fairy tale. Looking at you, kneeling down in front of me with that diamond ring in your hand, it was perfect. I couldn’t… and wouldn’t ask for anything more.

Everyday I would cook your favorite meal, and every day I would try to come up with something new. I change the curtains every other day so it wouldn’t bore you, I make sure everything’s fine when you come home. Each night I would put on my sexiest piece of wardrobe so I can take away the pressure put to you by work.

Every night I would try to be a wife. I was loving the way you loved everything. I loved to see you smile, I love to hear you say how much you appreciate everything I do for you. My fairy tale couldn’t have been any better.

But then, one night you went home and threw the vase at the wall.

I got up from the couch where I accidentally fell asleep waiting for you. I asked you what’s wrong and you replied with another vase thrown almost near my head. We were running out of vases every single night you come home. There was nothing more to break.

Then you remembered I still have a heart, like any other vase you threw into the wall, you smashed my heart so much that I wanted you to kill me right at that moment, but you never did. You wanted to kill me in the slowest way possible.

I spent every night thinking what I’ve done wrong. Were you mad because I fell asleep on the couch when I was supposed to be waiting for you? Was it something I cooked? Was it something I said? Or did not do? Did I overdo the curtains? Or was my make up not good enough?

I was looking for a way to explain everything to myself, there’s just nothing that I found.

Every night, you would come home drunk and completely unexplainable, at first it was just my heart that you were beating, the next day you came home and figured my face should suffer too.

At one point, I decided to wear my sexiest lingerie, hoping it might appeal to you just one second and make you think twice about hurting me again. You didn’t recognize what I was wearing because you brought home another woman who wore a sexier lingerie and asked me to sleep in the couch that night.

I was staring at the ceiling, trying to drown the noise in the bedroom which used to be ours.

This morning, I woke up and saw you still lying in bed with the other woman.

Dutifully, I prepared a breakfast for two.

I packed my stuff and headed for the doors,

I will not wait for you to eat what I prepared,

all I know is that when you do,

I will be free.

I’m sorry.

I just don’t want you to hurt someone else again.

You said it’s the only way to save me, but to me, the only way of being safe is to be right where you are.

You’ve left me, all alone. All vulnerable, like a prey waiting for its predator. Like I have no choice.

You said you cared.

You said you loved me.

You know what,

I wish you didn’t.

***

Walking away from you was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. My heart keeps telling me to stop, my mind disagrees all the while. It’s like I’m listening to two things at the same time. It’s noisy up in my head. Like a helicopter landing right on top of my head.

I’ve never been this hurt before.

Never been this unsure in my entire life.

But it’s the only way I can help you. It’s the only way I could save you.

And I would do anything to save you, I would do anything to make you happy.

Even if it meant my own life.

Even if it takes away my only happiness.

It’s being labeled NFBSFB.

No freakin boyfriend since freakin birth, idiots.

I hate it!

To be continued.

For Part Two, Click Here.

****

I decided to go the reunion. I’ve been dead scared for the past ten years of my life, admitting someone else’s mistake and being sorry for someone else’s wrongdoings. Kat’s right. It’s time I move on completely.

I called Tara up and asked her if Carl was going to the reunion. She said he responded with the RSVP right after he got the invitation.

I went to the salon after lunch and asked them to get my hair done. The stylist was kind enough to put some cream on my eyes to reduce the fluffiness. I was extremely proud of the results that I gave the stylist a bonus for the job well done.

My hair was set in loose curls that hung past my shoulders. It accentuated my shoulders, perfect for the strapless red cocktail dress I’m wearing for the reunion. I hailed a cab home.

The time for the reunion came by very fast. In a blink of an eye, I was already in front of the Hotel. I saw Tara first, then Massie, Kris, and Faye, all stunning as usual. They all greeted me with a hug and a loudful of gossips and what went on for the past ten years of their lives.

I pretended to be caught up in the conversation, but my head keeps searching for someone named Carl Vincent.

“Have you seen Carl?” I asked, the girls looked at me as if I just popped a million-dollar question.

“I think I have – I saw him at the cocktail bar before I went here.” Faye said.

I excused myself from the girls and made my way to the cocktail bar. No sign of Carl. I let out a huge sigh – I don’t know if it’s for relief  or disappointment.

Then someone tapped me in the shoulder.

I turned to find out who it is. In front of me stood Carl Vincent Montenegro. No longer the Carlo Vincent Santos I knew way back in Highschool. In front of me stood a man, a very confident man, way much different from the quiet Carlo I’ve known ten years ago.

The moment was too much for me to handle. I don’t know what to say at all.

“Ruby…” He begun.

I looked at him in the eyes. I studied every detail of his face. It flushed me with so much painful memories of our past.

“About Felisse…” he said.

I felt like I was showered with ice cold water. This is the time. I said to myself. Ten years of hiding and desperate moving on comes to this.

“Listen Carl – I know I should’ve told you about it, I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to get in touch with you. You and your family left without a word. After Liss died, I wanted to talk to you.. I wanted to tell you that you were not the father of the child, I felt I needed to tell you….” I said, tears forming in my own eyes.

“I knew. Ruby, I knew. Liss told me the day before she got into the accident. I knew. She told me you knew. And she apologized to me. I forgave her.” he said. “She tricked me, I was so sad when I discovered you were going out with John. Liss said to come over at her house so she would tell me what to do to get close to you. I did. I wanted to do everything to get close to you. That’s how it happened.”

“What do you mean Carlo?” I asked, compeletely in shock of what he just said.

“I loved you. I wanted you. But you were too blind to notice me. I got here last month, I spent all the days looking for you… It’s been ten years, I knew you wouldn’t recognize me. But I did, the moment you stepped inside room 213, I recognized you. But you didn’t see me, just like before..”

He took something out of his back pocket. It was a crumpled piece of paper, a sketch. It was me during the senior prom. He handed the piece of paper to me.

“It’s beautiful. Carl… Oh my God. You’ve kept this for ten years?” I asked.

“I was supposed to give you this before. But I never had the chance. John has his hands all over you the whole time,” He said.

Tears were falling from my eyes like free-flowing rivers. I didn’t know what to say. I was completely shocked by all that’s happening and I wanted to pinch myself to confirm if this is really happening.

“I don’t know what to say Carl.” I said, looking directly in his deep brown eyes.

“You don’t have to say anything. But perhaps if you will dance with me, that would be great.” He said.

I gave him my hand and he led me to the dance floor. I placed my hand on his shoulder and he placed his hand on my waist as we slowly swayed to the music. I caught Tara giving me a thumbs up as she turned to whisper something in Kris’ ears. I figured she was doing her part of the night, gossiping.

“I can’t believe how handsome you got, Carl.” I joked, messing up his hair. He laughed.

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.” He said, as he bent down as his lips touched mine and in that moment, I knew that I have moved on – completely.

The next day came, and there was no Carl Vincent Montenegro to take a blood sample on. I heard he was discharged early that morning. I felt bad about it but I was able to immediately shrug the feeling off. I continued working my butt out the whole day and I was really exhausted when it was time to go home. Kat had to go somewhere else so that means I’m going home alone for tonight.

I checked my phone for the first time today and saw a couple of messages from my highschool friends reminding me of our reunion tomorrow. The first time ever. It’s been ten years or so, the thought excites me.

I hailed a cab home and asked it to drop by a drive-thru so I wouldn’t have to worry about dinner. I felt so tired from working that I felt I need some pampering. When I arrived home, I gave the taxi driver his bill and gave him some extra bucks for the drive-thru.

I almost danced my way upstairs.

I placed my dinner on the very messy kitchen counter and went to my room to change. I caught a glimpse of my highschool yearbook beside my drawer and decided to look.

“Grace… Emma… Kristine… God how time flies.” I murmured, then I flipped the pages over and something caught my eye and made my heart jump million times in a second.

On page 39, second picture from the left, says “Carlo Vincent Santos”.

I couldn’t believe my eyes, how can I forget… Carlo Vincent Santos is Carl Vincent Montenegro. I cannot fail to notice the resemblance with the eyes and the dimples. It looked so much like him, only that he’s a lot handsome now than he was 10 years ago.

How can I forget…. I immediately dialled my highschool friend Tara’s number and waited for her to answer. It took her 3 rings.

“Tara?”

“Yeah, what’s up Ruby?” she said.

I looked at the picture again and took a deep breath. “By any chance, do you know anything about Carl from highschool?”

I called Tara coz she was the ultimate gossip girl of our batch. Ask her anything and believe me, she knows.

“Carl? As in the super silent guy who almost didn’t exist?” She asked.

“Yeah, Carl. He used to like sit at the very corner of the room and completely disregard everyone around him.”

“OH yeahhh.. I heard his father died about 3 years ago I think, his Mom remarried and the husband adopted him and gave him his surname, yeah I think that’s what happened. I heard he’s getting married next month with Lisa, you of course you know Lisa, right? She’s the winner of the supermodel search. Oh God she’s really pretty, I don’t know how Carl…”

I pressed the end call button and let the phone drop from my hands.

I spent the night thinking about what just happened. I completely forgot about the food or even the need to eat. I was still dressed in my uniform when Kat knocked at my room. I didn’t notice it was already past 12 am.

“Mind if I come in?” she said, carrying with her the food I placed on top of the counter. She placed the tray on top of my bed and looked at the yearbook in my hands.

“So you finally figured out, huh?” She asked.

I looked at her and noticed that she knew, she knew who Carl Vincent was. I felt completely stupid. I didn’t say a word, instead I grabbed some food and satisfied my now hungry stomach.

“I was supposed to take his samples, but when I saw him, I figured you should do the job. I mean, after what happened in highschool, I figured you should do it. I thought you would notice, see the resemblance. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” she said apologetically.

I let out a huge sigh and looked out to the big window. I don’t have any strength to say a word.

I buried my face in my pillow and let the tears do the job. I don’t know what time Kat left the room, I don’t know what time I was able to fall asleep.

In fact, for the first time in my life, I don’t know anything at all.

***

I saw Felisse sitting at our usual hang out place after school. We were supposed to attend the graduation practice, but she texted me and said she’s got a big problem that she wants to talk to me with.

As I approached her, I noticed she wasn’t alone. Beside her sat Carlo, and it surprised me. What’s Carlo doing in here?

“Hey,” I called to them. Felisse looked at me and then I saw her eyes, she’s been crying. Her eyes were red and fluffy and I could tell something really bad is going on. I wondered what Carlo’s got to do with this.

“Ruby, you do know Carlo, right?” she said. I looked at Carlo and nodded, “Yes, he’s my classmate in Physics.”

“Carlo, would you excuse us for a while?” Felisse said, Carlo stood up and walked away without saying a word.

Felisse waited till he was out of earshot. I looked at her again, completely unsure of what’s happening around me.

“I’m pregnant, and he thinks he’s the father.” Felisse blurted out loud. My eyes shot wide open and I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I never thought of Felisse as the type who would go out with Carlo. She disgusts that boy!

“Is he?” I asked, something tells me there’s a lot more to tell.

“He’s not. Gerry is. But we’re not ready. I tricked Carlo into sleeping with me. I gave him sleeping pills. Nothing happened. Nothing.”

“Why are you telling me this Liss?” I asked.

“I’m going away with Gerry. I’m telling Dad that Carlo’s the father. He would kill Gerry if he’d know. Please promise me you won’t tell anyone, promise me Ruby, you’re the only person I’ve ever trusted this much, please please promise me.” She was crying. I was stunned. I don’t know what to say.

“Yes. I promise.”

***

The loud ringing of my alarm woke me up.

I caught a glimpse of myself on my bedside mirror, I looked like a complete mess. My eyes were big and fluffy, swollen from crying all night. Kat left a message on my bedside and that says,

“I completely adjusted your alarm. I’m covering for you, take a rest…”

I looked at my cellphone and saw that it’s way past 11am already. I slept half a day and yet my body feels tired. I saw the dress I bought for the reunion, and somehow I couldn’t see myself in it anymore. I didn’t want to go to the party, knowing that there’s a great chance of Carl .. or Carlo being there. I dread myself.

I got up from my bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. The cold water reminds me of how cruel the world could be.. Just when I was moving on, completely moving forward and leaving bad memories behind, someone like Carl would get in the way.

Ring… Ring… Ring….

I turned off the shower faucet and rushed to get my cellphone. It was Kat.

“Hey,” I said to the receiver.

“Glad you’re up. How are you?” she asked. I was expecting Kat to take charge. She knows how to handle me at times like these.

“I’m okay. A bit of an headache and a bruised ego, but besides that, I’m completely fine.” I said. I placed the phone on speaker.

“Listen, I know it’s kind of rude of me not to tell you about Carl, I’m sorry. I know you’re having second thoughts about going to the reunion, and I honestly think that’s a bad idea. Ruby, you’ve been wanting to tell Carl all these years, right? Felisse is long dead, she’s been dead 10 years ago, because of a choice she made, and that’s not your fault, you’ve been living the past ten years of your life trying to make up for her, but the truth is, there’s nothing you could have done to make her stop. Her death, it was an accident – an accident that happened because of her actions, her decisions and you have to face it – you didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“Thanks.” I sighed. And pressed the end call button. I am completely unsure of what to do. Kat’s right in some points, and yes, I’ve been struggling ever since Felisse died.

How will I ever face Carl?

I looked at the dress I’ve bought three weeks ago and made a decision I will never forget in my entire life.

I wiped the area with an alchol swab and secretly looked across the room. There sat a girl, probably my age. She was absolutely, amazingly pretty. She looked like she just stepped out of a magazine. I think she’s six feet something, judging from the long legs. It’s a good thing she wasn’t looking at me. She would have thought I was a lesbian.

I figured she’s got every visitor’s fear: medical technicians. Blood sucking, stool sampling medtechs.

I was almost done taking his blood sample when the goddess, I mean, girl.. girl stood up, fixed her hair and walked to the side of the bed. I thought she was going to kiss the patient but all she did was get her bag from the drawer near the bed.

“I’m going”, she said. Not to me, that’s for sure. I felt really invisible in her eyes.

The patient didn’t look at her though. It looks to me they’re fighting or something. I mean, you know.

I heard the door closed behind her. I shrugged, “Wow, that’s fast.” I said under my breath.

“What did you say?” He asked. For a moment there, I thought he was talking to somebody else. But I was the only person in the room so I figured it was for me.

“Nothing, I said nothing.” I stuttered. I felt my cheeks blush. “Okay, I’m done with the samples, thanks for the cooperation. I’ll be back later with the results.” I said while I was preparing my things.

“Fine.” He said, still looking far from me.

It was a bit disrespectful to me, but I’ve had my fair share of patients like him. After all, to them, I was just after their blood. It kind of felt monstrous, but in a very very funny way.

The next day, he was alone. No model this time. His room was silent and even with the TV on, I could see that he’s not really watching. The volume was so low even if you stick your ear near the speaker, you would have a hard time hearing it.

I was preparing my things when suddenly, he spoke. I almost jumped in shock. I tried to control my laughter as he spoke.

“If I’m going to die tomorrow, can you please advise me at least six hours before I die?” he said.

This time, he was looking at me in a way that made me want to run for the door.

“Why six hours? Don’t you want me to tell you at least ten hours before you… you know, die?” I joked.

“Six hours, so I can have an hour to tell my parents that I love them, 1 hour to tell my friends about how I appreciate their being there for me, 1 hour to tell my exgirlfriend I’m sorry for putting her in a very difficult situation, 1 hour to prepare my last will, 1 hour to talk with a lawyer, and 1 hour to contemplate before I die.”

“Oh, it looks to me you’ve already planned your death, why so sure? I mean, you’re not even dying. I hate to spoil the fun but Sir, you are even healthier than I am.” I said – suddenly surprised by how I wasn’t able to control my words. He looked surprised. Did I just speak 50 words a second?

“Ouch, that hurts miss.” he smiled, “By the way, I’m Carl.” He said, almost extending his hands but his dextrose didn’t allow him to. I laughed at the effort. Poor guy.

“Ruby,” I said, as I inserted the needle on his vein. He cringed a little.

“Is that how you introduce yourself to a patient? Say your name and then pinch them with that tiny weapon you’re carrying?” He joked, and smiled – the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And then I saw him – right there – his deep brown eyes which matched the color of his hair, his dimples, the way it boasts itself whenever he smiles. He looked like an angel. No wonder he’s got a supermodel for a guardian. I wonder who he really is.

I almost forgot what I was doing and it took me a second to snap back to reality.

“Are you going to take all of my blood out Ruby?” He asked.

“No, I took just fairly enough for the… uh.. many… you know, tests….” I stuttered – yet again, in front of this Greek God. I placed his blood sample in the container and got my pen from my pocket so I can write his name on it.

“Carl… right?” I asked, and then looked at my chart once more to confirm,

“Carl Vincent Montenegro.” He added.

“Got it,” I said as I carefully wrote down his name in the label. The name sounded so familiar to me, I wondered if he was an actor or model or someone of that sort. His name sounds as if I’ve known him from before.

I shrugged the thoughts off and for the last time, I sneaked another looked at his awesomely perfect face then headed out for the door.

I closed the door behind me and stayed there for a while. I needed some air. Inhale… Exhale… Wow. That was just embarassing. I can’t believe I almost drooled at him.

“Hey Ruby, got your eyes on Carl Montenegro huh?” Kat said. I didn’t notice her “popped” up beside me. It made me even more embarassed.

“Huh? I was just taking his samples.” I said in defense. Kat looked at me really strangely and whispered, “I know you bitch, you’ve been my bestfriend for six years. You can’t fool me.” Then smiled as she walked down the hallway to her patient’s room.

I was left there, mouth literally open as I composed myself to finally bring his samples to the laboratory. I can’t believe I just did that, and most of all, I can’t believe my bestfriend actually saw me like that. I wanted to stick the needles in my own veins and suck the blood out of me.

]]> http://iwritefictions.wordpress.com/2009/01/25/blood-sample/feed/ 0 elay http://iwritefictions.wordpress.com/2009/01/25/bunny/ http://iwritefictions.wordpress.com/2009/01/25/bunny/#comments Sun, 25 Jan 2009 07:18:52 +0000 elay http://iwritefictions.wordpress.com/?p=34 ]]> “Give me that bunny!” I screamed as I tried my best to snatch my favorite stuffed toy from Nick’s strong arms. He was taller than me and I looked like a silly child reaching for the stars.

“I will if you would answer my question.” He said, smiling.

“I don’t have to answer anything and I don’t have to give you anything coz that bunny is mine and you shouldn’t be taking things away from people just like that!” I snapped, once again trying to jump higher so I could reach him. I just bumped into his chest during the process. He would laugh every time.

“I won’t give this to you until you agree to answer my question. Come on, it’s just a question. Just one.” He snapped, tossing the bunny up in the air and catching it effortlessly like a pro.

I dropped my guard.

“No. You can keep the bunny if you like. I won’t answer any question, especially from you!” I shouted as I turned my back from him and walked towards the street to our house. I left my poor bunny with him, and he toyed with it even more to annoy me.

“Poor little bunny’s gonna be a chew bone for doggy!” He shouted before I was out of earshot.

I’ve hated him since we were young. We were neighbors since God knows when and it’s the only thing on earth that I hate more than mosquitoes.

He would always pick a fight, he would always do something to annoy me. He would always want me to surrender to him, He wants to win all the time.

We’re both grown ups now. He just wouldn’t stop. That bunny he took from me was the only childhood memory I have left of my father. I can’t believe how insensitive he could become.

I’ve let everything pass, I didn’t say a word when he told my boyfriend that I was seeing someone else, even if I wasn’t. Joe broke up with me because of some pictures Nick showed him, pictures that were obviously edited but Joe was so much of a bonehead to see that.

Now this.

“What harm can one question do?” I asked myself. Well, one question – coming from someone else would probably be harmless. But one question – in exchange of a special bunny – especially coming from Nick, means something I would regret later on.

I went to my room and buried my face on my pillow as tears started to fall from my eyes. I can’t believe how insensitive he could become! How dare he play with my only memory of my father… How dare he step on my emotions just like that… How dare he…

“Massie! Come here quick!!” I heard mom call from downstairs. I hurriedly got up from my bed and went downstairs.

There was an ambulance right in front of our house, our neighbors formed a little circle around Nick’s house. I went outside to look for Mom but she was no where in sight. I shoved my way into the little crowd and saw Nick’s Mom crying and some medics pulling out a stretcher.

There was Nick, with an oxygen mask covering his face. He was unconscious.

“What happened? What happened??!” I asked as soon as I was able to get a grip of what’s happening. Nick’s Mom went to ride in the ambulance, my mom tagging along with her.

“Come!” Mom shouted from the ambulance. I shook of the shock and hurried to ride in the ambulance with them.

On our way to the hospital, the medics were giving him first aid treatment. It was weird seeing him that way. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was just with him a couple of hours ago. It was all too sudden.

“He’s got cancer. We found out about it two years ago, he wouldn’t respond to treatments and he refused to tell anybody about it. He wanted to have a normal life,” Emily – Nick’s Mom said, crying.

“I saw him in his room, with a bunny in his hand and he was unconscious. I didn’t know what to do. It was too sudden.” she added.

Tears were falling down my eyes and I couldn’t help myself from feeling guilty of the last conversation I had with him. I couldn’t help but wonder what it is that he’s been wanting to ask me.

I looked at him again and suddenly, the paramedics were back in panic again. I saw one shook her head, and another medic checked Nick’s pulse and shooked her head again.

“Time of death, 3:40 pm.” said one medic.

Those words cut through me like a knife, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Emily and my Mom. It was too much for me to handle… too much for me to accept. How can one thing as this happen too fast and too shocking…. How…

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“Massie! Wake up! Nick’s waiting for you downstairs!” said Rachel, my younger sister.

A dream? Was it just a dream? I wiped the tears from my eyes and checked myself in the mirror. Yes, it was a dream. I had to pinch myself to confirm it once more. It was a dream.

I hurriedly went downstairs and saw Nick…

With a bouquet of red roses arranged in such a perfect way that my bunny sticks out in the middle. He smiled at me. And for the first time ever, I saw Nick in a very different light.

“I wanted to ask you what your favorite flowers were. But I didn’t had the chance. I was hoping you’d like these…” He said.

“So that’s what you wanted to ask me this afternoon?”

“Yes.”

I slapped him in the face with my bunny out of disbelief.

“I want to ask you something too.” I said, trying to  look serious.

“Go ahead”

“Do you have cancer?” I asked.

“Cancer? Of course not. Why would I—-”

“Okay, shut up and kiss me. Or will you just stay there and wait for nothing?” I said, smiling – for the very first time – in front of Nick.